


It's not like I like him or anything

by scurvycorn



Series: What? Peter and Harley in a relationship? Of course not [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Pickup Lines, Fluff, Gen, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Some Crack, This is unholy, imma stop now, lord help harley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 14:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18896224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scurvycorn/pseuds/scurvycorn
Summary: Basically, Harley trying to get into Peter's pants but Tony is being an *ahem* cockblock





	It's not like I like him or anything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lethargy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethargy/gifts).



> Sorry I'm stupid for writing this, I've sinned please forgive me, I'm sorry...  
> Also, I wrote this in like 30 minutes so sorry if there are any mistakes, I got too lazy to proofread again
> 
> BUT this is for my wonderful writing soulmate @fungishh <3000

Harley had known Peter for about a full week now. Just seven measly days. But to him, seven days felt like years.

Harley was practically infatuated with the thought and idea of being around the boy all times. He was visiting from Tennessee for summer vacation and Tony insisted that Harley paid him a visit at the tower and he also insisted that he should stay at the tower for the whole break. At first, Keener wasn't too _keen_ on the idea of staying with Tony and working with him for the whole summer like that. But what convinced him was when Tony told him that another boy his age was also going to be staying at the tower for the summer.

Great, he'll get to make a new friend right?

Wrong.

But also, kinda right.

The first time Harley stepped foot into the tower, he was greeted by Tony and a mystery boy. 

Mystery boy, who eventually became Peter was very shy. Extremely shy but also extremely cute. Hell, Harley was already head over heels for this kid and God, he loved everything about him; the way he nervously laughed, his big shiny brown eyes and his oh, so curly hair. Harley would have said it was just a stupid little crush, but oh no, it really wasn't.

"Have I ever told you that you're like, one of the smartest people I know?" Harley leaned over the marble surface and dreamily looked at Peter, who was sitting at the counter a few inches away from the other teen, eating a bowl of cereal.

Peter heavily blushed and almost choked on his food. "Oh! I mean- Oh, thank you, you're smart. I mean, what I mean to say was you're also a smart person, like, you _are_ smart." He stumbled over his words. Embarrassing.

Harley smiled fondly. "Wow, thank you, you're nice." And just for the fun of it, or to show Peter how much he liked him, Harley threw in a, "And cute. You're also very cute."

That comment made the Spider-boy spit his milk and bits of chewed cereal out of his mouth. Immediately, his face went steaming crimson. God! Why was he like this? "I'm so, so, so, so sorry, I'll, let me...let me clean this up, I'm sorry I-"

"Darling, calm down. It's okay, let me help you,"

Peter was honestly flattered. Flattered and very, very ashamed. Here he was, watching some hot-shot, out of his league, older, better-looking boy clean up his mess. How was Harley okay with this? Peter ripped out a few paper towels from the roll and tried to help Harley clean up his mess. "Dude, really...it's fine. Y-you don't have to clean this up for me, you really don't."

Keener chuckled with such a deep tone, a tone that made the younger boy even redder than he was already. "But what if I _want_ to?"

"I guess I can't stop you then." Peter joked, slightly more comfortable than before.

As they wiped the mess off of the counter, like some sort of cheesy movie cliche, their hands accidentally bumped into each other and touched. Like the awkward teens they were, they just kinda looked at each other and then at their hands, then back at each other. Well, you know how the rest goes really.

Harley, being the ever so confident and straight-forward guy he was, was the first one to make a comment. "Are you telekinetic?" He blurted out.

"No...why?" Peter was honestly so confused, and boy did he have the right to be.

What Harley said next was about to make his mind go wild.

"Cause you've made a part of me move without touching it."

And Peter obviously didn't get it. He squinted his eyes and the cogs that were turning in his head were very visible. But when he _did_ get it his eyes grew wide and he was quick to stumble over. 

Somewhat luckily, Harley was quick to catch him, and, oh, boy, if Peter thought he was embarrassed before, then he didn't know what he was now. "I...Sorry, I'm awkward. _Very_ awkward."

"I think it's cute," Harley remarked, helping the other boy back on his two feet.

"I think you already said that." 

"I'm just being honest darling, you're the cutest person I've ever met."

Peter smirked, cheeks not as red as they were before. Maybe he liked that Harley was calling him cute. Maybe he thought Harley was handsome. Just a bit. "And you're saying this, why?"

Harley shrugged, frowned for a brief second, and then looked back up at Peter with a devilish smirk. "Hey...I think I lost my keys."

"What keys?" Peter confusingly asked.

"You know... _m_ y keys."

Just then, Tony happened to be walking into the kitchen with a StarkPad in his hand and his eyes glued to the screen. He did acknowledge the fact that Harley and his kid were practically centimeters away from each other but, to be honest, he didn't really care. At least, that's what he told himself. Somehow, Tony ended up eavesdropping in on their convo as he made himself a cup of coffee for the day.

"Well," Peter started, looking around for the so-called keys. "Where did you last see them?"

A brief silence dropped between them, the only sound, Tony's coffee machine.

"In your pants."

Immediately, Tony chocked on air and stepped right in between them, pushing them apart. "Woah, woah, woah, woah. Excuse me _what_?"

Peter groaned and covered his face with his hands. Embarrassment was radiating from him right now and he just wanted to dig a hole, crawl into it, and never, ever come back ever again.

"You two can flirt, hold hands with each other, lovingly gaze into each other's eyes, heck, you can even give each other kisses or whatever. But there will _absolutely_ , in no way, shape or form be anything above that."

Like a toddler that didn't understand, Harley asked, "What do you mean?"

He was doing this on purpose obviously. How can a sixteen-year-old not understand?

"I mean you guys can't have  _sex_!" Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and Peter just shriveled up at the mention of that three letter word.

So the Spider-Boy shouted. "My God, Mr. Stark, _please don't_ say that ever again!" 

The billionaire just sighed. "Well, I kinda have to kid. You two are young teens and what you're feeling? It's all hormones, just hormones." He then pointed a finger at Harley. "And you. Stop trying to get into the kid's pants."

For the first time, Peter sees Harley's cheeks go red. "I..." He crossed his arms and looked at his shoes. "I was not trying to do that. Those were _not_ my intentions."

"Look, can I just leave?" Peter asked. "I really don't want to relive SexEd all over again."

"Me neither." The other boy adds. "It was just an honest joke, fun between friends."

Peter firmly nodded his head. When his eyes met Harley's, he couldn't help but laugh. 

This whole situation was _so_ ridiculous.

He didn't know why he was even ashamed.

"What's so funny?" Tony, being the only one without a teenage mind, was so confused. "Am I missing something?"

Pushing past the billionaire, Harley joined Peter on his side and slung an arm around his shoulders. "No, not at all, Tony. You're good."

"Yeah, Tony, don't worry, we're just laughing at how, you know, ridiculously funny this all is." Peter smiled, tensing up a bit as he felt the other boy's arms around him. But he didn't mind. 

"I am so confused." The Billionaire mumbled to himself as the two boys walked into the common room, arm in arm.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make one-shots about Harley and Peter but idk, should I?


End file.
